Considering myself, my hands...

I have been thinking a lot about my identity over the past several weeks as I transition into this new role of "teacher". It is not an easy transition for me, and I continue to struggle to feel confident and comfortable in the role.  I wrote this a few days ago, as we drove to Philadelphia for our pre-departure staging:

As  I washed the last of the dirt and grit out from underneath my fingernails, it struck me that my time as a Tiny House builder was, for now, over. The veneer of grime that I had accumulated over the previous six months and worn light armor during our build slowly gave way under the onslaught of steaming water as I enjoyed my last shower in the US. I reveled in the endless hot water, lingering over my hands as I washed the last physical traces of the past half-year away in preparation for the next 27 months.

My hands were changed from my time as a builder, My nails were short, blunt, and chipped in places- my cuticles raw from rough use. I had scratches and bruises over many of my fingers. I used to have delicate hands- well equipped for typing and note taking from my time as a medical scribe and a student before that. Now they were rough and robust with fingers still slightly swollen from the abuse of the last frantic days of the build. Red under the hot water, they looked almost sausage like; and as much as I loved building our own house, I was a little glad that the grueling process of the last 6 months was over.

Later that morning, I would be setting out with my husband, Sam, to serve for 2.25 years with the Peace Corps. We will be Teaching English as a Foreign Language in the Republic of Armenia. I had packed my bags the previous evening and Sam was almost finished packing his. We had tried to finish packing the night before, but at 2 a.m. decided we needed to get a few hours sleep instead. I had gotten up at 7 in order to shower.

I took my time- enjoying the luxury of half-an-hour with nothing to do but self-care, then dried off, got dressed, and woke Sam. We planned to finished packing and leave the house around nine. We were traveling to Philadelphia to meet with our Peace Corps staging group, with a one-day stop in New Jersey to say goodbye to my mom's family. There will be one day of training in Philadelphia, after which the Peace Corps will bus us all up to New York and we'll fly out of JFK to Armenia, where we'll live until November of 2017. I wonder what my hands will look like then?

Day Zero: Traveling to Armenia

S/P Application Day: 417, T-0 Days to Departure. 

It's  been exactly 200 days since I last posted on this blog, and the past 7 months have been nothing if not chaotic and character building. Building our Tiny House has helped Sam and I grow as individuals, grow as a couple, and has really helped me step back from the medical profession and gain some conception of myself outside of that role which as been so important and central to my identity for the past half-decade. (If you're at all interested in what that was like,, read about it at Molly & Sam's Tiny Adventure) I hope to be able to write about this in depth some time in the future, but right now I'm pretty badly jet-lagged, so instead of engaging in intensive introspection, I'll just summarize the last 96 hours or so. 

Our Peace Corps Journey really began 4 days ago when we finished the Tiny House, packed our things, drove to New Jersey to say goodbye to my grandmother, unpacked and repacked all our things, and drove to  Peace Corps Staging in Philadelphia. During this time, I think we slept a grand total of 4 or 5 hours. Finishing the Tiny House turned into such a rush job, that the night before we left home for the last time in 27 month, had hadn't packed a thing. We pulled 2 consecutive all-nighters to get everything into the proper weight/size configurations in our bags. 

After a day of team-building activities at Staging, we spend one night in a hotel outside of Philadelphia (quite close to Bryn Mawr, actually) before setting off on our trip. I don't know that I've ever been so tired as I was that night- we slept very well. The next day, all the volunteers and our bags piled into buses and set off from Philadelphia to New York, we we would fly out of JFK. Why not fly out of Philadelphia? Why not stay in a hotel outside of New York? I don't know. I suspect that this is more of the same logic that had Sam and I fill out a 50+ page long application rather than submitting simple resumes and statements of interest.

We got to drive through New York to get to JFK, which was a nice way to say goodbye to America for a few years...

And I was able to accomplish my first Peace Corps life-hack when my cheap carry-on  duffle broke halfway through security. What can serve to replace the broken carabiner and double as an awesome little gift for your host family? An I <3 NY key chain, of course. 

At some point in time during the flight, we took the obligatory Airplane Selfie.... And then suddenly we're over Armenia:

This is my first glimpse of the country we'll be living in for the next two years. I have to admit that I find the sight a little intimidating- those mountains look intense. They're telling us to put away our electronics, so I'll have to wrap this up. Hopefully I will have more time to write once we're semi-settled in country. 

We're Going to Armenia!

January 31, 2015; S/P Application Day 217; T-202 Days to Departure

We officially accepted our Invitations to Serve with Peace Corps Armenia today. We were immediately bombarded with a slew of tasks to complete. Most immediately, we have 10 days to update our resumes and write an aspiration statement each and get those things uploaded to our file. 

Reading through the Welcome Book for the Peace Corps Armenia program did help me feel more positive about service. For one thing- people knit in Armenia. (Not much in the way of knitting in Cambodia- who would want to wear a sweater in the jungle?) This means that I can bring at least one of my hobbies from home with me when we leave.

I've decided to take a break from blogging about the Peace Corps until we actually leave- for one thing, we'll be starting out Tiny Adventure soon, and I'm pretty sure I'll have my hands full blogging about that. For another, I think I need to give myself some time and space to get used to the idea of teaching for two years. I know that I can wrap my head around it and get myself into a positive place with this assignment, but right now writing about it feels a little bit like picking a scab before it's healed: the more you do it, the larger the scar. So, I'll be  posting back here again in a few months. In the mean time, if you're interested, feel free to head over to the Tiny Adventure blog and read about how we're building our own Tiny House before we leave with the Peace Corps. 

Invitation!

January 27, 2015; S/P Application Day 213; T-206 Days To Departure

Today we received our official Invitations to Serve with the Peace Corps. I wish I were more excited, but I'm still reeling from the work sector change. The program we're invited to departs August 21st, 2015, and so from now on I'll not only be including the Days Since Application, but also the Days Until Departure count at the top of each post. We have seven calendar days to accept or decline our invitation. 

Decided to go to Armenia

January 26, 2015, S/P Application Day 212:

I called the Peace Corps Armenia Placement Officer today to let her know that Sam and I would be thrilled to go to Armenia. I'm not sure if that's true for me right now, but I'm working really hard to make it true by the time that we actually depart. We should get our official invitations some time in the next few days.

Well, they always said that you need to be flexible....

January 23, 2015; S/P Application Day 209:

I was contacted today by the Peace Corps Armenia Placement Officer. She told me that there were no more spots in the Cambodia program that Sam and I had been nominated to. There are, however, two education spots open in Armenia. She told me that this was Sam and my best bet to be able to serve as Peace Corps Volunteers, but that it would mean I would be serving as an Education Volunteer rather than as a Health Volunteer. She's holding two spots for us. I have the weekend to discuss it with Sam. They need an answer on Monday.

I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. When you start your Peace Corps Application, every one tells you that you need to be flexible to be a successful Peace Corps Volunteer. But of all the ways I imagined being flexible in my Peace Corps service- I never imagined that I wouldn't be doing something I loved. I've tried to get behind the idea, but no matter how I look at it, I don't like kids, and I'm not passionate about teaching. Not being able to serve as a health volunteer is extremely disappointing to me. 

On the other hand, all the reasons I wanted to apply to the Peace Corps are still relevant. Living in Armenia for two years will expose me to a new culture, it will expand my understanding of the world, I'll learn a new language. I'll travel and live in a part of the world that I'd never visit otherwise. And the secondary cross sector goal in Armenia is Gender Equality/Women's Empowerment, which is something I can really get behind. It's also a really good opportunity for Sam. Unlike the Cambodia program, the Armenia Education sector is one of only 3 PC programs which result in TEFL certification by the US government at the end of your service. 

I'm really dissapointed that I won't be able to work as a Health Volunteer. But given that that's no longer an option and the choice I have is working as an Education Volunteer in Armenia or not working as a Peace Corps Volunteer at all, I think I have to choose to go to Armenia. I just hope I can get rid of the bitter taste I get in my mouth ever time I think about it before then.

Contact from Cambodia Placement Officer

January 8, 2015; S/P Application Day 194: 

Today both Sam and I were contacted separately by TH, the Placement & Assignment Specialist for Peace Corps Cambodia. TH informed us that we are currently under consideration for the Cambodia program and the final "Know By" date (the last date that applicants will hear from TH regarding a decision on their application) is March 15th. TH also asked us each two questions: Did we know how to ride a bike? and How did we feel about living with a host family for the entire 27 months? We answered both of these things with the appropriate (and helpfully true) "Yes, we can ride bikes" and "Living with a host family will be fine" answers. Hopefully we'll get an invitation soon?